THE ARROGANCE OF AUTHORITY

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A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher says, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there," as he points out the location.

 The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, " Mister,  I have the authority of the Federal Government with me."  Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher.  "See this badge?  This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land.  No questions asked or answers given.  Have I made myself clear?  Do you understand? "

 The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.

 A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull......

  With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get gored  before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified. The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs...

 
" Your badge. Show him your BADGE !"

 

   

 

"

  

The Proper Hugging of a Baby

The Proper ' Hugging ' of a Baby ! ! !

Instructions for properly hugging a baby:
 
 
 
 

1. First, uh, find a baby
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2. Second, be sure that the object you found was indeed a baby by employing classic sniffing techniques.
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3. Next you will need to flatten the baby before actually beginning the hugging process.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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4. The 'paw slide'
 
 
 
 
 
Simply slide paws around baby and prepare for possible close-up.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  
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 5. Finally, if a camera is present, you will need to execute the difficult and patented 'hug, smile, and lean' so as to achieve the best photo quality.
 
  
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